I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
