My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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