How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i think my tv is drunk
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
