you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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