I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
