did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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