Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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