I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Apparently you make a good broom.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
