i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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