Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
