She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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