PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
