I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
