VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
