The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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