do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
