i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
