I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
