how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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