nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
