The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
