If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
