apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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