is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
