So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
