your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
