The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
