New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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