You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
