This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
