You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
