To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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