hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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