no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
you never un-have a 4some
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
