Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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