I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
