would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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