We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
