I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
