and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
