I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
