party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
