I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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