Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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