I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Damn victory sex feels great
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
