and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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