my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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