I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
