Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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