Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
