How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
