he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
