At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
