Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
People in love make me want to vomit
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
