i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
