Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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