i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Your dad touched me again.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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