dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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