No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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