If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
