Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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